choices

It may sound cliche, but I did realize only today that the choice I made really answered a part of the many questions I've been quering for some time now.

People have their own roads, yes, typical. But I can't believe how much fate or destiny has been involved in letting things happen at a certain time. I'm still in shock right now at how my choice led to something rather unexpected. [wow, so over-the-top. but I guess what did happen today sort of put a pause to my psychological disease :)]

Five words: I did not attend P.E.

Ok. I know I may be OA but I rarely am absent at most things, because I'm not fond of it. But I don't know why I went back home after 15 mins wandering around school grounds. I called EVERYONE I knew, and nobody answered. So it was weird. I entered the school and the minute I did all I thought was, "Are you sure with what you're doing?" my conscience was taking over me. At first I went to the gym, then nobody was there. I kept walking, pacing as slowly as possible. Slowly. I can't believe it - I didn't see anyone I knew, as in NONE. I think I was rather unaware [for once. I'm usually observant] of things so I just kept walking only to realize that they were at the underground gym and I was already late [I arrived 9.45] so I didn't even think of going down to attend PE. My nerves were telling me to get out of the institution.

And so I called my mom, asked her to come back fetch me.

It was so long. I kept waiting, and waiting. Walking to and fro the bookstore era. And just when I went forward through the exit, I saw a shadow and although I wasn't sure, my mind had an obvious idea who that person was.

Of all people.

Truthfully saying I was unconscious at that time. I did see him but my mind was wandering through a lot of thoughts. There was my old friend whom I never talked to for a long time now. I didn't even view it as I would've did when I still "loved" him. It was a different story. Well, yeah, so he nodded, and I raised my eyebrow [I didnt think he did see it] and after that my fetcher was already there, so I walked through the other route [where my fetcher was] and went to places [my mom had to do stuff] and got home.

Wow. I am in shock, still. But, not really now. I'm actually done studying Li Shr for about 3 hours. lol. And when I thought about how weird things happened today, I am not angry at all. At least there was something that I didn't expect, not my usual daily routine sort of thing. I am sick of spending every day bored, watching tv, going to PE - yes, it is boring - and the usual stuff.

What if I did go to PE? I wouldn't think this would still occur. I looked at the time and it said 10.00 And if I was in PE that 10.00 would be the time I started playing badminton with Kristin, probably. If I went to PE I would arrive home around 2 pm already, then I would've studied longer since I still had to go to other places that were in our family's schedule today. I would've not written this. I would've not erased all the emo entries I've had. I would have still felt the sadness I have been feeling for quite some time now. I would have still...

Fate. Fate is what happened. I would probably never in my whole life still have that moment occur.

I think, I made the right, precise choice. Despite everything that should've been. Even if we just nodded or what, I couldn't really explain my feeling about it. And if you were guessing sadness, maybe a little, happiness? not much. A balance of both, or I'm still struggling which side to take.

But I tell you, I'm glad I listened to my instincts. So glad. I feel accomplished. LOL. x)