Imagine.

commitment

* * *

It's so ironic - just as I clicked New Post, rain started falling like the worst storm ever. More than that, I guess my life has already become a destructive typhoon - it's just not paving its way through the worse part of it - yet.

I haven't been updating my blog much, because I am stressed, I am frustrated, I am depressed, I am feeling every kind of sadness felt by probably every single teen - the sadness of losing people I love, the sadness of being weak and unable to show myself, the sadness of getting low grades, the sadness of not being with everyone I love, and the sadness of being idle in my own entity.

What's worse, I'm blending in with the heavy raindrops that fall right now - I feel so alone despite my friends say, "everyone is feeling the same way as you". No I don't think so at all. It's like everything has been snatched away from me - my ART, my FREEDOM, my STRENGTH.

I need massive advice to the overly depressed teen I know. Har har.

I'm not sarcastic, but after a long wait I finally read BD, just the 1st 4 chapters. And it was pretty awkward at first. The storyline is so-so, reviews say BD was a wreck for a last book of the authentic Twilight saga. IDK. I'd go critic myself once I'm done reading it. Bella's so lucky for Edward - I'm so jealous! [not because Edward's perfect] but because she's found someone who completely loves her no one can ever measure. *sigh* So much for being a hopeless romantic...I'm stuck with the notion of the "locked" drawers in my room, full of stained memories I would always want to shut off. In fact because I'm too busy I have no time pondering about those bad times, and seeing those faces. They've all vanished in my mind.

Except the day I thought everything was beginning, and not realizing he was already gone.