fairly odd.

I'd never thought I would see his face again.

All my eyes could see right now are the positive things in life - and here comes a random sene in my life wherein I feel like a ghost in my own self. Wherein I could feel the weakness and vulnerability I had never felt for such a long, long time. I don't know how it ended, maybe it was just really the right way. I couldn't tolerate my own self from being bruised every single day. And now I'm completely patched up [I guess] but what bothers me is that when I ease away from something and rather think of never setting sight on it again, I see it. Like out of the blue.

Just like this morning.

I was actually running late, since I'm overstressed + super sleepy. And I didn't really care if I would be late. I just needed to get to school. So yeah, walking, walking, and in front of my eyes I see someone most unlikely to be late. As he used to tell me he was always "early". Great. As awkward as this sounds he reminds me of Edward Cullen - well I just realized it NOW since my friends keep telling me - but nevertheless I really had to evade him AT ONCE. Even though I was JUST right behind him, and well probably following him up the stairs [since my classroom passes by his] and pretend it was just a coincidence [well, yeah it is actually] and then it would be all right.

False.

If I did do that, which I didn't, I will get pahiya and I'd have myself suffer over a jerk who never cared [well, at least, once only. ONCE!] And besides, I'd rather not see his face. And get struck physically & emotionally. So good for me, I followed my sis and went up the middle stairs.

Ugh. And that's causing some of my frustrations now.

O_O

And I hate it!!! It's flooding over me like a hideous disease.

Like a long lost pain coming back when I least expected it.

But now I'm kind of calmed down, I'm not affected in a "serious" way, I just don't like seeing him. I never will anyway.

NEVER AGAIN.