Freedom

I woke up a whopping 7:00 a.m. today because I'm supposed to go swimming with my cousins. But unfortunately, my mind was stirred to doing other things. And besides, it's a rare occasion for me to swim. I'm afraid of water, has been, always been. So I declined at the last minute.

It's still unlikely or rather new to me how weird I get when I need to decide. A simple scenario like, "Should I go out today? Or stay home?" bothers me to death. Maybe because I don't like wasting a day with things I don't like to have. For say, today my mom's asking me to accompany them, have lunch @ Century Seafood, then head to my grandparents' house for the rest of the afternoon - typical Thursday setting.

I don't know if I should go.
No one's home. Only me & the maid.

Err...

I don't know!
I wouldn't suggest going out 'cause I'll eat more :x and for this week I've eaten loads of stuff. [i hate breaks.] Then again, I don't feel like talking to anyone today, I feel like I want to close myself today, which is kinda weird. Okay, fine, I got all emo last night 'cause I was reading New Moon (again, it's already a year old!) and I shut the book, grabbed the TJ and wrote a page's worth of words in. And listened to my "Downpouring" playlist. Hah. So much for emotional outburst - sometimes you can't just be happy all the time.

Of course I feel free today - I can do anything I want, but I don't know if my creative energy would cooperate with me. It's not like I can just draw in an instant even if I want to.

So should I go out?

I don't know. Haha. Let's see where things take me.

xo