it's empty.

I think I'm very very frustrated with my life. VERY.

First of all, I'm very preoccupied trying to make my life as better as ever, like it's so possible. Seriously. Ever since this school year started, my life became so...dead. I feel so lifeless right now. I could shed in tears any time now. My life seems to revolve on absolutely NOTHING I can think of. My brain is too full with studies, but that's not it. Studies don't make up most of my life, it's the people around me and the things I love doing which makes me complete. And I've realized that, despite the quality of having the best friends ever, and almost reaching my goals in life, I'm incomplete. I feel empty. My heart - is empty.

And as much as I could try to pamper myself & cheer myself up, there comes a certain time in a day that I would break down and feel so weak. I've never been this weak my whole life. In fact, I've never felt this agony all filling up the sorrow and wounds I can still find under my skin. I feel so useless right now. And I think it's most probably because I'm not used to being alone, not used to being with new people - namely, my classroom, and of course how can I not forget, that I can't even feel hapy anymore because I have no time to draw at all! And everywhere around me I know they try helping me to cope, esp. my friends, but deep inside, I know I'm the only one who can fix this bizaare empty feeling. But I CAN'T!

What the hell is wrong with me? It's like I need to go to a psychiatrist or something. Or I'm just bummed with my own boring old LAME life.

I could die now.