a year ago.

If you wind back the time and remember this date, well, for me it was very important - July 1. I can't say why, but after what happened in June 30 last year, I almost felt like heaven was in my arms now. Not realizing how selfish I was of holding on to it, not knowing it will eventually fade away.

I couldn't explain the happiness and struggle I felt just minutes ago, when I typed in the link, viewed it, read the entries. It was so...carefree. It was so different already. I didn't know who was the one writing when I look now at that person. I can't believe how much has changed in a nick of time. I can't say I never changed, I did; but I didn't change for the worse, in my opinion. In fact, this may sound really off-track, or rather awkward, but if I never knew him, would I still be what everyone knows as an "artist"? Everything was derived from just a single person, can you imagine? I don't think I would be so drastically different from the person I once was when I began High School. Wow. I wish I could feel the warmth and peace that I always wished I had, I know it's all over, it's all done, it will probably never collide with my present ever, but there's really something in me that has a place for all that...the pain, the weakness, vulenrability, at the same time balanced with fun, memories, experience...everything.

Grabe right now I feel so...I don't know what I'm feeling! Grateful? Thankful? Sad? I just miss it. And I know it will never be the same anymore.

♥ • ♥

I have absolutely no idea why am I writing everything here. If people read it...oh well. I just feel so... i-don't-know-at-all right now.

For hell's sake I am not even updating my Updates on Life 2: On With the Journey journal anymore! Maybe it's beause life has become boring without love. Haha. Or...I'm just lazy to write 'cause there's nothing really interesting about my life right now.

♥ • ♥

"People always tell me to move on, forget, look away; but in the end, when you look back at the past - you won't regret a single thing, not one, because every single moment, made you who you are today, who you are tomorrow."