blame it on YOU.

I didn't realize I haven't written this new year.
Anyways, it's not off to a good start, thank goodness my optimistic level is higher than usual.
I did cry, the other day, no matter how petty it sounded, it still broke my self-esteem.
I can't believe I hated myself for one day because of some ruthless teacher.

Anyways, just wanted to write about something I RARELY talk about nowadays.

I have NO IDEA, why I don't draw anymore. Not that I have to do it all the time, but I haven't fixated my skills that much for almost 6 months now. And I really think it's because I am not inspired at all. Before kasi, because of *ahem* [youknowho] there was another feeling of both happiness & sadness which I could magically express in my works. It may look colorful at first but the B and W traces make it seem so complicated, as what my life was before.

I just can't get over the fact that just because I have "closed" my doors to him and i end up not doing any freakin piece of art at all.

I blame him for that :(

That's really, really, really weird.

Oh, speaking of weird, I was just asked to join the cotillion - WHAT?
Well, of course, me being scared to break a leg dancing, declined. I can't dance.

Haha. No, seriously, it was because I already have a dress.
I know, bilis noh? I'm too lazy to go have my dress done. Twas just off the rack. Pretty decent anyway.

And uh, speaking of bilis, I'm turning sixteen in a few days.
GREEEEEAAAAAT.
It's one of the birthdays I don't look forward to - awkwardly.
Hope it makes me feel much better about myself. 'Cause sometimes I still see my flaws as a person. But whatever. No time to emo-ishly think of those stuff. I'm pretty much busy because I spent yesterday and today watching TV and laptop-ing because! I'm so sick of schoooool. Really sick of it. I wish it was over like snap.

But what are we to do, right? I hope I could endure 2 more crazy busy hectic painstakingly annoying hell months.

good night / day . it's 45 minutes past midnight. :)