lack of inspiration

It was just yesterday that I knew why I couldn't draw at all. When I get a pen & paper it doesn't mean I have ideas or concepts, I still have to think deeply and grasp a thought that comes up at once. Well, usually when there's school I get more stuff to think of unlike summer 'cause during summer it's mostly the easy-way life for me, leading to the result that nothing "tragic" or rather depressing has occured. It's all fun & games that's why I always end up blank when I want to do something. Though I wish I could keep practicing, it just so happens my drawing tactics have decreased a bit, or I just need a break from this or I'll waste paper. Makes me feel sad :(

One and only thing that makes me strong as an individual is the way I portray my emotions through art, and that's the only thing that keeps me alive. I have friends, but it so happens when I'm not with them I feel so alone, especialy during summer. My cousins are all right, but there's a big difference between friends & relatives. My friends understand me more than the people I grew up with, because they also have their own lives and all. And I don't see them 24/7.

Anyways, my point is, maybe I was better doing art during school, because there is actually something that keeps me going and doing more, well it's probably because the real reason I went back to continue doing art was found in school. And besides, I read biographies of artists, and their paintings reflect their depression. But...it's kinda weird though, I don't see myself as depressed all the time, in fact, art makes me happy and releases my inner self. Maybe that's why the sadness goes away - it ends up finding itself expressed on a piece of drawing paper.

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*I still don't know my section! :(