Immersed.

I feel like a fish getting used to the water for the first time.

So I feel no pressure tonight, more of...laziness, or interest for that matter. I'm doing my Business Plan right now for our TLE (Technology & Livelihood Education) and I'm going to do a project schedule. Wow. It's like I'm taking this so seriously...why so?

Hah. I don't even feel like eating dinner considering I had 1 pack of Pucca, 1 piece of Marble Slice from Red Ribbon, 1 small bottle of Yakult, 1 Conti's chicken pie (a sucker for this) and 1 cup of hot green tea. Yes, only for merienda (now you know why I love to eat. LOL...ever since school started I eat a lot during merienda Haha.) and it sucks. Maybe I'll have a salad tonight (*puke* I've had salads since pre-prom eating habits began...grrr) anyway, I'll stay hooked to the laptop for a few more minutes.

Throughout this business plan I have accomplished the following:

• Introduction (which I love doing, it invites readers to be interested in the coverage of the whole thing)
• Table of Contents (seriously, it's easy as...pie. what a cliche -___-)
• Executive Summary (uh huh.)
• Half of Organization and Management Study

That's all I've done. I still need to do:

• Market Study
• Production (done a bit of it)
• Financial Study
• Contribution to Phil. Economy (haha, i can't think of this xD)
• Exhibits

Hm. Almost balanced enough. I need to get back.
T2DO

• Finish ECO studying
• Study MAPEH (uhoh I think ill start late...8:30 perhaps)
• Eat dinner ( HA HA should I?)
• Journal ('cause I feel bad not updating)
• Drawing (lineart done)

xo!
LSS : Love U by ...idk the singer. Basta it's from BOF. Haha. LSSness.

Myself, I cannot decipher.

Really, I am in a massive tidal wave of mood swings.

Okay, as I'm writing this I'm quite calmed. But other times, I really tend to fire up and get pissed off. I have to applaud for the people here living with me - because they do get mad when I shout, but then they forget it. I guess I can say the old me has found another space to the new me.

Back when I was still around a toddler, a lot of people despised me because of my crankiness, impatience, and my "ao bin" days (fukyien, which means having a bad face because one is angry or pissed off) > well, I still do "ao bin" sometimes but, that's not really the point right now.

It sucks...

*Yay for no classes today. and was that a SONA? (watda) awkward...

Anyways, today was another rather awkward day. Headed to Conti's for breakfast (wait, was that breakfast? I think it was brunch lol) and had a Malunggay Omelette (Watda health conscious much?) w/ Fish in it & cheese + Fruits + Mango Bravo :> Then to National Book store and bought some supplies, then had a haircut at Tony & Jackey (Korean hairdressers) from this Korean girl who seems as if she's angry...or her face is just really strict-looking? Idk, but she handles the shears very well and I think my hair cut is...good :D Then syoti had a haircut then we went home, I studied a bit, and now I'm online again.

How quick a day goes by. So me, my sister & bro had haircuts today x)

One thing I did notice about myself is that I'm so kuripot! Which means I don't like speding my own money much. I don't eat during recess (okay, I'm used to that ever since I started schooling) but awhile ago I saw 2 packs of vintage stickers entitled "Nostalgia" and it's from All About Scrapbooking that I reallyyyy wanted to buy. But then my indecisive thoughts began turning into decisive thought xD And I didn't buy. Aw :(

Anyway, so much about that. I'm off to do my business plan.

Possible reasons I've been having weird mood swings lately:

• I drink a lot of tea? IDK if that gives an after effect. Odd :<
• I'm morphing back to my old self? Not...quite.
• I can't stand Senior life anymore? Hm. Probably.
• I don't get to spend much time doing things leisurely anymore? Yes, 50% true.

On the bright side, I am most looking forward to the YMCA Results (tss. as if...) & the Moleskin I ordered @ Amazon.com alongside the Tablet Pen (to be shipped @ my cous' house in the US) & the end of PT because...idk. I need to study to College Exams :(

*Crosses fingers, not giving up...just yet*

xo.

And then I realize, I wanna come first!
/First by Lindsay Lohan/

Today is a winding road.

♫ Thunder - Boys Like Girls
*photos taken today*

=x=

[with Tin & Joyce. after the contest - gonna clean our stuff!]

[proof of Laking National card. Ha ha ha.]

[let the rain fall.]
pic from Reco 09 (but it's raining ATM > at the moment)

xo♥

Mi-ra-cle.

It's also one of Paramore's songs.
Coincidence much?

Anyways, today was a rather different Sunday. I spent the morning waking up early and rushing to prepare my art materials - what to bring to the YMCA Art Contest, then had some oats (in tablea yay :D) and headed off to YMCA.

Guess what? I was late xD I didn't know it began at 9:00, I arrived 9:05. All I know is that 9:45 is the real beginning of the drawing time. Oh well, 5 minutes is not a big deal for me. And luckily I was number 50 and Joyce was 51 - obviously our surnames - Sy - mean that we are in the same area.

Okay, so Kristin hasn't arrived yet when I arrived - she was around 30 minutes late :x If you wanted to know what the scenario was when I entered, I was freaked out. Everyone was on the floor, indian sitting (well one was standing up. awkward much?) with a big wooden board on their laps, drawing vegetables that were placed on a chair with white cloth. Real veggies :> LOL.

It was really weird, gladly I got used to it. And I used the time wisely to make a good piece of art. And well if I were to assess mine, considering that I didn't practice (but I DID draw last night for another contest online) for years in painting (I used to paint when I was young, before my teen years) I did pretty good. Some were staring, I think that's a good thing xD

*I'm crossing my fingers!!!* and wishing a miracle would happen. I really worked my butt off (way to go for meeee! For completing one of the T2DO lol.)

So now, I just got home from the temple, visited Dad (you know, I really hate doing this but, I don't get pissed, really - watda?) but before that I was really starving after the contest. Ha ha even if I enjoyed my oats and oolong tea breakfast w/ a piece of Hershey's cookies (ahh. they're sweet and good :3) my stomach was rumbling so we ate at Ying Ying Tea House (yum :D) and the owner is my aunt's friend (my aunt, as what everybody says, happens to look like me. ha ha? lol!) and I had some Japanese siomai & Ho Fan yay :)

*But I'm craving for some silver roll bread from Tasty lol xD*

Anyhoo, I'm supposed to be doing some homeworks now, special mention : TLE Business Plan & English Formal Theme, but I figured I'll do it by 5:00. Ten more minutes of freedom :>

Tomorrow, I hope, will be as exciting as today (although today wasn't super exciting, I had fun @ the contest, i love my work :D no matter how veggie it is xD) I'll be having breakfast out (wala, salingpusa haha) and I'll do my homework there (nerd effect? watda) and head off to National Book Store (YAY! I have my laking National card na lol xD) and have my hair cut (even if I want it long, I hate it too >> I'm so indecisive! Haha! I want it just right. It's long already) and spend the rest of the day studying.

Life so far is crazy, but I hope I get used to it.

And I had a 30-minute dream awhile ago. It was awkward, but I'm so gonna list it down on my journal. I can remember it so clearly lol.

Other contests I'm going to join (wow what's with me being active in contests?)

• Pentel Go Monochrome! (I'm excited for this.) October 2009
• *The-Heart (dA) "Vintage Hearts" contest August 1, 2009 (I better finish my work asap)
• *gabbyd70's "5 Themes" contest October 2009 (is excited for this too very challenging:D)
  

*Results of the contest are still on August 2 - HA! I won't be taking UPCAT so I'm going. Joyce is taking UPCAT, aw :c

Ayt, it's 4:56, I better get going. Still dA-ing :>

xo.
PS What is with the rain and it's falling again??

=x=

Take the path that the wind only knows.
/Beauty in Walking Away, Marie Digby/

The pressure.

Whenever I hear the word "pressure", I remember the song of Paramore with the same title.
Haha, just a random thought.

But seriously, this Senior life is getting a tad more complex than what I really thought. This week I've tried balancing time and making things work, but eventually not. Oh, did I mention we had SEVEN (7) quizzes today? There wasn't one class that didn't have a quiz, or GE. Well, except PE, but that doesn't really count. We did have some fun running in sacks and losing the contests :>

Anyhow, I can't seem to get an idea on how to shape my life and make it better. My scores from exams are kinda off-track, I'm NOT in my comfort zone, although I long to be! I got a 78/100 for Economics (watda?) 86 for TLE (I studied! why?) and a really low 89 for Li Shr (This I am in big question.) I know I'm so "what-the-that's-not-even-failing" but seriously, I'm very pressured when it comes to school so yeah. It's really hard so I'll try my best to study hard at the PTs and the upcoming tests.

Grrr...one more dilemma I have is STILL my confidence level. It's a fact that I really feel like such a dumb person and living a boring life, which is kinda weird because, if my life IS boring, then why do I keep writing? Haha. Ironic. Speaking of writing, I haven't updated in days! Am probably gonna update later. Oh, I need to list down some T2DO. T2DO is really helping me get motivated. And actually I've handled time much better this week than last, but I hope I keep up with my adjustment. So that at least I can make a better person out of myself! My goodness.

And I haven't been having enough leisure time. I can't squeeze it in my schedule! :( I will later. I promise? Hopefully.

Ha. I keep saying "hopefully", as if I'm really that hopeful. Ah, let's hope :)

And I got a really bad cold now, so...yeah. Life probably is not what I'm well-lived in, I still need a little more getting-used-to.

And I MISS ART :( I really do. Really.

T2DO/SKED:

• Tonight: Study lishr, Update journal, Draw. For real I guess (:
• Tomorrow: Attend YMCA Contest in the A.M., Eat @ a Chi resto for lunch yay:), Study Lishr in the PM, do TLE Business Plan, English Formal Theme, EP assign.
• Monday: Wake up early, do some more studying, have my hair cut (my bangs are too short, my hair needs to catch up with the shortness xD), have Kozui?! :D STudy.

If you've noticed. ALL days mean STUDYING.
I really need to improve if I want to have consistent honors this year.
Or prove myself worthy of being myself for a change, 'cause I'll need it.

xo.
PS
I nominated myself for the Candy Teen Blog Awards. haha :) Hope you guys vote if you like my blog :) Your choice!

Happy Birthday Ms. Avillano. :)

[this was the draft.]

[but i happen to like this better:)]

[we were sweating yet having fun with tha pizzas & cake]
[and we miss her!]

which reminds me, I need to get my recommendation letter from her tomorrow :>
xo~

T.IWANT.2DO.

This list will hopefully be fulfilled through the course of this year, 2009 and next year, 2010.

Hopefully :>

In random order.

• Have at least three new artworks posted on dA.
• Work my butt off in EVERYTHING.
  
• Win a contest outside school, I don't care what & how much I will win.
• Visit a Papemelroti store, and admire the quotes, drawings & paper products.
• Have a Harry Potter Marathon - watch all movies (1-6), and read books 4,5,6,7 (probably NOT gonna happen. lol.) >> Probably shocked I like Harry Potter? It gives me a heck of nostalgia, kinda like I remember my childhood when I had marathons of HPs 1 & 2 on VCD xD
• Get my cousin to buy a Wacom Penable Tablet PC Pen in amazon.com or wacom.com from the US of A and give it to us when he gets back.
• That means, I could finally practice doing "professional" digital art of my Tablet PC! Yay :)
• Learn the art of making my own journal = bookbinding
• Finish reading "The Creative License" - if only I had more time!
• Visit the East Coast of US (hopefully, my grad gift :D) esp. NY & Florida.
• And while at it, watch a Broadway musical in the Big Apple :)
• And visit Parson's?
• And buy a good camera there? Still wishes for a polaroid :))
• So that I can put photos in my journal - that I will hopefully make myself :)
• What else. Visit a place full of nature and feel the wind -'cause I prefer land over water
• Sell something I made myself - a personalized bag/pair of shoes/shirt/whatever.
  
• 'Cause I want to earn some money for no reason :D
• And I want people to commission me for art :)
• Get a new slide phone which is cheap :) But, I'm not ready to ditch my SE w810i. Iloveiteversince :D
• Make a new Blogger Layout for myself, that I will love forever.
• Make my life more interesting by...interesting myself into things I'm interested in.
• Learn to balance my emotions.
  If I'm not mistaken, I am having a "Disturbed Emotion" sickness lol.
• Wear glasses often - watda? You'll be seeing the nerdy side of yourstruly in college.
• Pass the ACET, DLSUCET & USTET even if I did not review.
• But I will review after the first qtr PTs - Centennial week = I will review. I promise this! I need it!
• Study hard and work my butt off for the remaining months in Saint Jude
• And make people recognize me puhlease.
• Watch all HM episodes on YouTube or any other possible way.
• Watch Sonny with a Chance & JONAS. 'Cause I love the people there.
• Watch Paramore when they come to Manila.
• Watch JB & Miley when they come to Manila.
• Watch The Script when they come to Manila.
• Watch UP in theaters August 26.
  
• Watch New Moon in theaters November 20.
• Have a shopping spree with mom @ Zara/Debenhams/wherever we could buy cool stuff :] (had one last year. AWESOMENESS)
• See my friends Nadine & Erika from ArtsWork and have lunch/merienda/dinner with them at TeriyakiBoy/other restaurant - I'm sick of Tboy because of you guys! XD
• Make friends with new people 'cause time is just short.
• Reconciliate with people I've had complications with, and talk to them before HS ends.
• Make lasting memories w/ uber vanity & dedix & the like.
• Laugh more and always smile rather than be pissed off and get angry & cranky easily.
• Love myself more and not criticize myself for my looks.
• Get inspired with new bands, new songs...and make another collection of art! (Last late 2007-2008 it was a psychedelic era for me w/ all things mostly B/W and standout colors.)
• Cook a gourmet meal? Haven't done that in ages :D
• Have professional art classes somewhere that teaches good art :)
• To get an award for being an outstanding member in Scratch (that's not really possible since the Pres & the VP are getting it, and 3 more are up for grabs, and...I've been demoted 'cause last yr I WAS the VP and this yr I WAS Asst. Sec. until they demoted me to Asst. BM and I have NO CLUE why the heck)
• Participate more contests in dA and win prizes! Subscriptions & features! :)
• Buy a Team Manila shirt, 'cause the designs are awesome :D
• Learn how to make my own fro yo, so I can enjoy it at the comforts of my own home.
• Be more fashionable and not be afraid to express my style.
• Cut down my calorie intake, just because sometimes I get too overboard with my favorite foods - special mention: Conti's Chicken Pie, cakes, Eng Kee Chicken Pie, savory dishes
• Trim down a bit of my weight - although all my clothes still fit :) Just to make them fit a bit better ;)
• Enjoy this year's and next year's Xmas :)
• And the New Year.
• And my Sassy Seventeen on January Fourteen Two Thousand Ten.
• And plan my debut? Ha Ha Ha. right. I'll see Jean's debut first and if I like it, I'll have one. If I don't, I'll have a fun night out with friends instead. ;>
• Graduate, lol. Top 10? HA. I must be dreaming. Naw, I'm not aiming high, just until I can reach it :)
• Finish my RandomJ and hopefully have a name for it. Will update you guys on that ;)
• Spend a day with my best friends F4L and shop & have a meal together and talk about the randomness of life :)
• Get 20K PVs in my dA. Go visit and show some support!
• Paint the world with art - literally. Drawing is not being recognized enough. Hello, people, is there anything more other than Music, Theater & Architecture?
• Produce my own line of journal notebooks - Plain, Ruled, or Organizer-type.
• And sell them! Yipee :>
• Get tons of Green Tea bags in the grocery and have an infinite supply of tea > I drink tea EVERY DAY. So much for being a health buff xD
• Get myself an Immersion Blender, Food Processor & Ice Cream Maker. I'll be a happy cook :)
• Have cool presents for Xmas & Bday!
• Which will hopefully include a Wii Fit, Awesome Headphones I saw in iStudio, and a set of good reads - chick lit by Sophie Kinsella or any good chick lit writer.
• Learn to overcome my shyness in school ('cause I'm only "wild" when I'm with my circle of friends)
• Be more confident.
• Personalize more shirts :) And wear them all the time!
• Sleep as often as I can, so I can grow taller, like 5'6" [i can dream! I'm only 5'3"!]
• Buy more wardrobe stuff and have fun dress-ups :))
• Finish painting my room and edit the current thing I painted on the wall.
• And sleep in my room! Have a tiny LCD TV there and a cool "working place" for art
• And have a bookcase to display all my awesome books :>
• Have more drawers & cabinets to store my stuff!
• Clean my mess! 3/4 of the things here at home are all my clutter :3 'Cause I leave my art stuff everywhere
• TRAVEL around everywhere! USA, Europe, Asia...CHINA, and do some international shopping :D
  
• Go to sleep earlier. Like now. HAHA it's 9:30.

So yeah. MY GOODNESS if you finished reading it, I congratulate you!

I'm off ~

xo<3

long night

of sleep.

Last night my mind was literally spinning in circles as I headed home from Scratch stay. I don't exactly know why; and it's not because I don't have the right nutrition or something (watda) but I did notice I was getting dizzy with motion sickness or something. My gad it was awful; I couldn't take it anymore so I slept like, 9:30? WOW. First time! Then I woke up 8AM so i slept for 11 hours :) Like sleeping for two nights! lol.

And I had SO many dreams, like 3, I think. The first one was me watching New Moon w/ friends, and some...other people. Anyways, it was weird. The other one included me patting an über cute puppy (here's the thing: I happen to dislike dogs. woohoo.) so yeah and the last I forgot.

I really thought it was real. Aw :( Anyhoo, so much for the randomness...

I'm done with my T2DO! >> my bangs are soooo short! I look like a Japanese whatever freak lol. And, well I have another list of T2DO that will take me forever to accomplish in life. Ha ha ha ha. I'm not done with it yet but I think it's a lot.

So I gtg now. Buhbye.

xo~

T2DO.

Since I'm heading to bed @ 9 (well most probably 'cause my head is spinning AWFULLY and I mean it!! OUCH :(( ) I ought to write my T2DO for tomorrow.

• Trim my bangs. Well, it's long.
• Study Hua Won in the AM - Practice Test in the PM.
• Physics assignment, + advance review
• EP assignment (Butchukoy? watda...)
• MAPEH Test (I've browsed through this already)
• Formulate some business plan (I have one though)
• SLEEP MORE. Puhlease. I must be at bed no later than 10:30 or else I'll get dizzy and unconscious the next day. New curfew for myself!

IDK The others but I feel bad I have to skip review at school tom. I didn't even review last summer (just a bit) for hell's sake! I need LUCK for the coming entrance exams, PERIODICAL exams (NEXTWEEK!! WAAH!), projects, lastminute requirements and everything else. I need luck and faith. And my head is randomly spinning right now. I know, so unlikely but true. I feel like collapsing or something.

If I don't wake up tomorrow...
OMG I'm being so MORBID.

xo.
TIRED.

Much thanks. Much better.

Really, I'm being sarcastic. It's late now, 2 minutes till 11pm as I type. I'm supposed to be wandering in my sleep and hopefully dream but, I choose to write some inner thoughts for awhile. I'm even setting aside Physics first. I have just understood a bit of our test tomorrow.

Sometimes I just can't take the load of life. It just...overwhelms me how time can fly so fast and I can't accomplish things in time. And the people, oh goodness. The people surrounding me are kinda irritating; I don't know whether to trust them or not.

Okay, it's not everyday I feel like this, really. Maybe it's because I'm moody at the moment but, I really feel awful.

Oh, right, I also have something to say. I feel so pissed or rather I wonder when the heck people will give me a chance. To what? I don't know, for me to be recognized? It's always something I'm subconscious about, but, really, I never get noticed. Oh, and if you fight back and say "Essay writing nung first year ka!" uh, no, not really. I wasn't even around when they said my name, for goodness' sake. And when they did, it was because my mom PERSUADED them to do so (I had nothing to do with this). Or what about the Film Fest Invites? The Logo? The English Program Backdrop? (which let me & Kristin set aside Geometry PT and work our butts off for 9 hours) The English Program Logo? The Teachers' Day Masquerade Invites? The Masks? The JS Prom Poem? The Class Shirts?

It's not like I want to be famous or anything, but it's either people change my decisions or tell me to "waive" my "poetic license" (remember?) or lament and criticize my 9-hour-working-butt-out-work with Kristin? Or they always ask me to do this and that, like I have all time devoted to doing art or something.

Well I'm not saying I'm declining things like that, but I've realized lately that it's not worth my time. For hell's sake, I haven't grabbed a Specialty Board and Fine Liner markers in MONTHS. I want to DRAW, Puhlease. But how? I get stuck with freakin' homework. It's giving me a hard time to balance especially now I'm in 4th year! Damn, it's really hard. I don't even feel like I'm giving my best; it's really hard, I hate myself for being me.

Really, I do. IDK what is wrong with me; this is what happens.

So thanks to all the people who have hurt me, almost killed me, criticized me, hardly recognized me, hated me for doing nothing wrong, eyed me suspiciously, made me feel unwelcome, talked about me, and etc. You have all made my life so complicatedly miserable.

Much thanks.

You guys must feel much better, right?

xo.
PS This is a hate entry. It's not for my close friends, it's for those...people. Oh, even my mom I guess. Or my relatives? I don't know you people, whoever you are, there, happy?

now i have.

Now I have a quote. Sorry I'm so unupdated, I just downloaded "No Boundaries".

"Just when you think the road is going nowhere, just when you almost gave up on your dreams, they take you by the hand and show you that you can."

And I keep dloding David Cook's "Come Back To Me" but it's only this time that it plays.

"You say you gotta go and find yourself, you say that you're becoming someone else, don't recognize the face in the mirror looking back at you."

Watda I'm so emoish posting quotes. Hahaha. AI much?

xo.

I need new bands!!!

okai :)

Haha. The title was supposed to be "o...kay" but I probably think it was too cliche. Anyways, it's 1 minute till 8 as I'm typing. And obviously there are no classes, which I don't know how to react to. Because there are, of course, pros & cons.

Pros:

• No TLE Test ('cause I'm not done studying)
• No Math period (haha! sorry but i don't really get the lesson)
• Induction Rites will prolly be moved tomorrow (super shortened periods tom?)
• Not having to endure hours of class (i'm so procrastinating with this statement)
• Not seeing you ('cause I'm better off without you >:D)

Cons:

• Li Shr test will be tomorrow for sure
• Calc Test will be tomorrow (this hasn't changed)
• MATH test will be tomorrow for sure
  
• More assignments on hand
• Need to study more today than yesterday even if I want to watch HP
• It's gonna be a busy day tomorrow
• Won't have time to talk w/ friends 'cause of homework & tests. ugh.
  

ARGH. Things just can't go my way this time. lol...But the rain is pretty strong, I never thought about it till last night when we were out in Promenade and we crossed the overpass and the rain was just...WOW. Well I didn't like the food @ Flapjacks last night. :[

LOL I told my cousins if they were no classes today we must party! x)) Anyhow *wishes we'll have ice cream later!* I have not much to write since I'm supposed to be at school today. Heehee :>

T2DO
Let's just say it decreased a bit. :)

For serious purposes:

• Math
• Calculus
• LiShr
• English script

Yay 4 to go:)

For leisure purposes:

• Have fun with curling benders? Since I'm home and I have nothing to do and need to put my hair up :)) It'll get the job done ;)
• Play "Seven Things"! I need to learn the strumming. But yesterday I did a run-through and I could do it quite well. Just the strumming. And it's much easier than "Fifteen" but I wanted "Fifteen" oh well. When I'm good enough :)
• Go online 24/7? Nah I'll probably shut down the comp in the PM or let my sister use it. I need to be hardworkingly good today.

I have no song quote to quote. Weirddddddd.

writing, writing, writing.

I'm trying to finish my ACET essay at the moment. I need to have it finished! Tambak assignments from Reco. So, yeah, emoted a little last night, now I need to face reality for REAL.

(emo writing letters.)

(emo reco letters. meet French dog! :D)

But of course, the reco was not at all emo. It was a vain three days!

(meet my vain roommate Nicole Shen.)

(and my vain 4B classmates w/ Fr. Paul.)

(these are the earliest people to get their luggage. the early birds, as quoted :D)

Writing. We kept writing at the reco. And until now I'm still writing, typing, talking, still typing, listening to music, thinking deep, asking tons of questions...it's a cycle isn't it? I'm trying to evade my essay writing! I need a little unwinding lol. I must say today's a pretty emo day for nature? It's been raining on and off all morning (hence I woke up late. haha.) and I'm kinda feeling the emoness as well.

Hmm. what else could I say? Oh, right, I should probably show my courage to face some stuff. It's really hard with the tension, the, oh, the everything that is happening now but, I think I should follow what my friends said. Yeah, most likely. Wish me the best of luck?

T2DO Today
-------------

For serious reasons:

• TLE Test & Assign
• Journal
• English pantomime script
• Calculus
• Math
• Lishr minor review of Tien Kong (Wen Ta finished!)
• ACET Essay
• UST App Form (print it!!!)

For leisure purposes:

• Do some random doodling of human portraits (I do this all the time during class hours xD)
• Get chords of some nice song (Fifteen and/or Butterfly Fly Away and/or The Climb)
• Update my Random J, hopefully print some pictures of Reco 09?
• Eating out at night. And pick out a nice outfit.

Actually, the leisure purposes I just need to get through life without having to ride a Roller Coaster again. I've probably puked now; I need to get out of it (Ya think?).

I still feel like writing. Waitaminute.

Oh, yeah, right, my sibs & I finally talked my mom into watching Hannah Montana The Movie so I watched last Sunday right after I had my own concert at home and singing to songs I used to listen before - haha, my family was probably pissed off with that. The movie was nice. But days before now I was really psycho, as in I'm kinda unsure of myself sorta thing - like I feel like why am I having this life -- oh it was AWFUL. So yeah I'd rather not talk about it. It's a psychological thing hahaha.

Okay. That's just it. I still need to write.

xo~

it never ends.

I just got home from school, from Tagaytay's SVD Retreat House, from the 3 day break full of vanity, tears, laughing & eating (este, attacking.)

And now I am back to REALITY.

Oh, the reality of things...such a waste to hear but, oh well, I guess things end. And some don't? :)

I won't be posting pictures, as for the moment because I am VERY busy. Like so much crammed homework! Then...Li Shr test on Saturday! I need to adjust.

Just wanna say thanks to all those reco letters :) and the people who wrote 'em, I didn't expect the others to write even if well, it all made my eyes turn red & icky. lol.

And I <3 4B - the class shirt says it all. :)

xo/will update tonight or tomorrow. hahaha.

Two Hundred :))

It's my 200th post! Shocking much?
I have been blogging on and off for four years now, if I'm not mistaken :) That's cool. Even if I got a lot of trouble at first ('cause, you know, i was still unaware of the consequences of writing online.) Anyhow, I'm very bored at the moment, it's 15 minutes till midnight, I'm not sleepy because of the caffeine, so I don't know what to do.

If I sleep, I'll just force myself. So I'd rather sleep when I'm really unconscious and groggy-ish. haha.

If I continue my Ateneo essay, my head would be throbbing and I'll get cranky. So I better continue tomorrow instead.

If I write in my journal, I'll feel lazy and instead of being creative, I'll end up ruining the pages. Aww that's sad.

If I stare @ the tv instead of the laptop, I don't think I'll be seeing anything interesting. In fact I'm on HBO watching Blades of Glory and just glancing. I'm not a fan. Speaking of movies, PS I Love You on Star Movies 9pm Sunday. Yay?

If I turn up my iTunes (which saddens me btw, i broke syoti's phones a few minutes ago...i'm dead.), I will get LSS and sick listening to Michael Jackson's Man In The Mirror and Jackson 5's I Want You Back - we listen to MJ EVERY DAY --ask my mom why. Idk her everyone got addicted.

If I keep typing about ifs I think I'll get sick of it. So I better stop :)

What else can I write about...
oh, right. I feel sad 'cause 20+ people haven't returned my reco letters...and I suppose 1/4 of them don't plan to. That's sad 'cause as of now Nix told me she has 35 total, so I gave away 20 more (=55. I know. soooo few. but let's face it; I'm not really that friendly) and I'm asking Tin & Nix to help me singil the people Monday morning (it's a fact I arrive school last minute lol) hopefully they'll get the job done!

I'm kind of anxious about our plan 'cause I'm sooo sure time is not in our hands. But I have to be optimistic if I want all the letters to make the cut, even if some weren't able to be laminated. Ahhhhhhhh :<

No more emo emo :) I'm such a biPolar freak :))
[misses Pepper Lunch. :((]

I'm glad I got over my FroYo craving from last summer. But, I have not gotten over my craving for Kozui Green Tea :)

Okay, signing out. I'm sort of...sleepy? Well my body's tired and not cooperating. Night.

xo~

T2DO.

likes this acronym:) coolness.

Oh noes...I have A LOT to do & accomplish by Sunday.

• Study Calculus (even if the test is moved)
• Study Li Shr (because we're not around when the test is on)
• Mao Pi Da Kai (at least it's da kai!)
• Write a letter to one of our teachers :) I'll miss her :(
• Write the remaining last-minute reco letters
• Journal writing - RandomJ && For submission
• Finish the ACET App Form
• Start with the Ateneo essay (GASP.)
• Fill up & Print the UST Online App Form and submit 2x2 pics & NSO Birth Certificate
  
• Pack up for Reco! (and make a what-to-bring list)
• Charge all gadgets (and eventually BRING the charger. watda?)
• Reading Inventory?
• Make script for English - Mythology by Edith Hamilton - Pantomime (why oh why was I the leader. lol.)
• Figure out a plan to make everyone give back my reco letters before 7:30 AM on July 13, 2009 and let some other people sign on the spot. Can I/Nix/Tin do it???

Well I think those are my agendas for two days.
Please pray that I will survive :))

xo.

WHYYYYYYYYYY???????????

I am so devastated at the moment because there are NO CLASSES tomorrow.
Okay, so Grade 1-A had 20 absent students, hence the whole class was sent home by 10 AM.

Well you could've just told the Grade Schoolers that there were no classes, and NOT the Highschoolers.

Reasons why I'm mad?

• CALCULUS TEST. We're the only section without taking the test. And our Reco's on MONDAY. Watda???
• RECO LETTERS. A lot of people haven't returned them and Kristin is having the first batch laminated by Nicole. So, people, if you have my reco letter return it to Kristin/Nicole on Monday MORNING. Final. My goodness this is giving me a headache :[
• TAMBAK. all of our teachers have probably gone mad by now. so have I. After our reco i'm so sure i'll be dreading and having black eyebags. my goodness.

So yeah, if you think that's not enough reasons, think AGAIN.

I make the most of all this stress.

-- from "Paranoid" - Jonas Brothers

It's such a weird thing that I listen to their song "Much Better" every morning when I head to school. I don't even take charge of the playlist! x) It shuffles by itself.

Anyhoo, there are certain times in my existence that I have nothing to say or I'm just not in the mood to share anything about my current state of the union. Lol :) Have things gotten better? Umm...I guess?

Countdown 'till Reco.09 - 4 days! :) I'm friggin excited. But I heard that in the other section some people got sick (because the water is cold - a fact my cousin told me as well) so I will bring a heater.

Hmm...oh, right. This week better be over because the stress level & pressure is almost fatal! x) Tomorrow's our first Hua Won test, I'm so nervous! Although I can say I pretty much master the lesson. And Saturday we're having a Calc test which really scares me. I've been sleeping superrrr late for the past few days, and my eyebags are deepening :[

What else can I write about...oh probably random stuff, like it was my first time to visit a convenience store? (watda!) Haha I mean it. And I had snacks ('cause I was really hungry) & ice cream (omg for hershey's dark. goodness.) w/ Ghia & Nix, since everyone else was fetched - club stay.

Oh, I haven't started - well I started w/ 2 sentences - writing my essay for the Ateneo app form. I do have a lot to say about the topic though -

Are there any significant experiences you've had, or accomplishments you have realized, that helped define you as a person?

Moving on...I'm speechless :X Wait a minute lemme check my journal.
Oh, right. It's sort of a pest in my life so I will shut up. Hahaha, I even made a comic strip watdaheck :))

Oh, I also read my journal # 3 yesterday. It's Updates on Life 2:On With The Journey and the journal was bought by moi @ Fully Booked. It's all about my 2nd year life after the fight I had w/ F4L. I can't believe I was such a freak then! Or as my friends quote, "Obsessed!" of what? a lot of stuff haha :D That was really embarrassing. I so hate that journal. My favorite is still # 2 && my recent one :) Oh, someday I'll take a snappie of all my journals and post it here. Coolness :> I'll go get a Lomo cam first :) If my allowance allows me to :) I need more x)

What else. Okay I need to wrap this up.

Current LSSes at the moment:
Man In The Mirror - Michael Jackson (I seriously love this song & its awesomeness.)
Fifteen - Taylor Swift (adik :O the guitar playing ? hands down!)
Over - Lindsay Lohan (I love this. And I miss listening to Lohan's songs.)

xo.

Over

This song is by Lindsay Lohan. I rarely post songs but this song was my favorite since before, even if I didn't have a meaning to it yet or can't relate to it...now I can a bit. And fyi, i memorized every word in this song before. And I dloded it and I love it still. :)

From http://www.elyrics.net/read/l/lindsay-lohan-lyrics/over-lyrics.html

I watched the walls around me crumble
But its not like I won't build them up again
So here's your last chance for redemption
So take it while it lasts because it will end
And my tears are turning into time I've wasted trying to find a reason for goodbye

[Chorus:]
I cant live without you
Can't breathe without you I dream about you honestly
Tell me that its over
Because if the world is spinning and I'm still living
It wont be right if were not in it together
Tell me that it's over

And I'll be the first to go
Don't want to be the last to know

I won't be the one to chase you
But at the same time you're the heart that I call home
I'm always stuck with these emotions
And the more I try to feel the less I'm whole
My tears are turning into time
I've wasted trying to find a reason for goodbye

[Chorus]

My tears are turning into time
I've wasted trying to find a reason for goodbye

[Chorus]

Tell me that it's over
Over
Honestly tell me
Honestly tell me
Don't tell me that its over
Don't tell me that its over..

Fortunate Much?

Abigail just Discover His(Her) Fortune Cookies

Abigail recommended you to Discover Your Fortune Cookies


Abigail Claudine Sy just discover his (her) fortune is Excellent

WISH:At first it seems to be impossible,but later comes true.
EXPECTED VISITOR:Something is wrong with him(her). He(she) won't come.
BUSINESS:Don't buy now, or you'll lose.
STUDY:It's all right.
LOVE:You'll soon be happy.
TRAVEL:Put it off. It's not time to travel.

HAHAHA. Right.
I'm unwinding my Top 25 Most Played songs in iTunes. awesomeness :)

"When you love someone, and they break your heart, don't give up on love, have faith restart so hold on. " - Jonas Brothers. (Yes naman :> I love it!)

xoness~

The So Unknown.

[title by Jack's Mannequin.]
Okay, this will be pretty decent.

It's unlikely to have subconscious thoughts bubbling around your brain without you yourself knowing why it still remains there. Or, hmm, maybe it's because you've been stuck thinking about it before and it hasn't faded out ever since? I don't know.

I can't say I hate life right now - it's going pretty well; I've change from being pessimistic and depressed [remember last year?] to being more optimistic and happy :> But of course not all the time. Maybe I'm becoming more open and expressive :) Nice to know. Life without having to emote and cry all day is good :) Except one thing I think about very rarely.

And despite the rareness (rarity? idk) I just had an awful dream about it. AGAIN aiya. It was awful awful awful to the max. I don't get it though, I don't really talk about you, think of you, (Insert any adjective here) of you; then why dream of you? (Take note: not a good dream, it was a bad one but not really a nightmare lol)

I think, too that I'm kinda used to seeing you every day and pretending that I see nothing (either ways, you do exactly the same, so whats the effin point?) is something I don't really take notice of (well yeah i d c at all. there's no point to it anyways) 'cause by all means, life HAS been much better w/o you in it (but not completely better, at least i don't feel too much burden or sadness about it.)

Anyways so much for my kaekekan entry, I just feel like writing about it.
But my door is always open for closure/apology/whatever.

xo.

i wish...

people never created HOMEWORKS. i mean, come on :| it's awful.

Before anything else I need to list down my T2DO.

• Study for Filipino Quiz (Pakikinig)
• Study for Chinese (wala lang. pasipag effect.)
• Photocopy Criteria Sheets (i'll shoulder the payment for that, 4B)
• Siao Kai (damnation.)
• Economics assign. (more like MATH.)
• Do Filipino Theme.
• Do Filipino Parable. (goodness gracious.)
• Finish filling out ACET form. (3/4 done)
• Start writing the essay.
• Finish designing my jumpsuit (w/ fabric paint)

I'm doing all of those.... TOMORROW. I just have to. So I'll relax and unwind on Sunday.

Anyhoo...Reco's in a week! Kinda excited. We're going to Tagaytay! And Kristin's sponsoring is really awesome. I love the letter designs and her concept. Except it's all "I love you..." haha watda. I'm not that emo as I was before but I honestly loved the designs she got. :))

What else. oH, right...this Sunday I'm seeing my mat relatives, which gives me the chance to ask Jean about Senior Year! :) lolness.

And now my shoulders, back and arms are threatening me and they want to kill me. OUCH. And how ironic it is, I'm listening to a Xmas song right now. Imma skip to the next :< too awkward.

Ok, gtg. ryt now i'm chattin, listening to These Walls by Teddy Geiger (nice), uploading FB pics about my *awesome* summer 2009...yeah. is life good? I guess. 1/4 of it is not. YET. or maybe NEVER. I don't know...you decide.

xo~

the 411 on things

As if my life's getting any better. I think the homeworks are about to load up next week.
At least the next week after that's our reco, which I'm excited about :) [Nicole's my roommate AGAIN hahaha] We're having a class shirt again! Yay! :) I've designed six yesterday and I'll let them vote. Although this time (unlike last yr) it's more...contemporary like a statement shirt :>

Anyhow our assignment for Friday?

• Physics Test
• Math Test
• Huawon LingTse
• Lishr LingTse (almost done w/ this)
• Journal (done)
• RI (i'll do it tom lol)
• Economics (they haven't posted the file yet!)

Dead. lol x)

Nothing personal. Life has been pretty well (i like this year way better than last yr, esp the subjects & the class sked & the classmates) I guess, trying to avoid the "other" side of "pretty well" which is "pretty odd & pretty annoying" :|

Cooked some squash soup yesterday (it was my dinner w/ some large homemade croutons) and it was pretty good :> Except I think it needed to be thinned out more. && I drank Green Tea w/ Peach which I bought the other day....YUMMY! And the tea bags are reusable I think ('cause I reused them this A.M.) and luckily I was able to stay up until 12am for that (which I needed 'cause I did lotsa stuff...) :) >> I need to still at least get ahold of leisure time! (habang meron pa lol)

Anyways so much for the randomness, I just feel like typing :)
And is it just me but ever since MJ's death people kept on listening to his songs (including my mother, we have three cds -- Legends, Jackson 5 GOLD & one I burned from iTunes) and it's kinda...well not annoying, maybe I'll get sawa :))

>> Signing off.